Paul A. In ALL HIS GLORY

Subject: Why Humans will die of there own stupidity.
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> EVER WONDER why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
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> Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
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> Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
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> Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
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> Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
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> Why is it that to stop Windows 98, you have to click on "Start"?
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> Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
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> Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
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> Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
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> Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
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> When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
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> Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
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> Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal injections?
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> You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
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> Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
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> Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
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> If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
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> If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
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> ------------------ In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods . . . . ..
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> On a Sears’s hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (And that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
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> On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special)?

> On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (And that would be how???....)
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> On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (But, it's "just" a suggestion).
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> On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (Well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
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> On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:” Product will be hot after heating." (No Really I thought it would be cold)
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> On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (But wouldn't this save me more time)?
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> On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with>colds off those forklifts.)
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> On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (And.I'm taking this because???....)
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> On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (As opposed to...what)?
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> On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious?)
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> On Sunbury’s peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (Thanks for the news flash Tom brokah)
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> On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
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> On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
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> On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands." (Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
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> Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)...in other words send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.